Neurodiverse Universers - The Shared 'Verse

 In the UK, if you feel in immediate danger of harming yourself please call 111, or 999, for medical or emergency assistance and support, or call the Samaritans on 116 123
Nine support services, that want to hear from you, are listed here with website links below each image.

https://giveusashout.org/

https://www.childline.org.uk/

https://www.maytree.org.uk/

https://www.youngminds.org.uk/

https://www.papyrus-uk.org/

https://mindout.org.uk/

https://genderedintelligence.co.uk/index.html

https://www.samaritans.org/

https://www.newboldhope.org/projects-3 

#ADHD Awareness month.
(link to speed up the video at the bottom of the post - just in case 2 minutes seems like forever!)

It can be hard to imagine how utterly different an experience of life can be, with one seemingly small perceptual difference.

Perception of time affects everything. 

In reality, even the concept of distance and size, and thereby hierarchy. There is no measure of distance between point A and point B without the time it takes to travel between them.

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Linear flow of time is actually a trick of perception. 

A reflection of things being perceived as changing from one 'previous' state to the 'next' by the human brain.

ADHD brains which get called 'time-blind' may actually have a more accurate perception of time and state changes, more aligned with current scientific theories.

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In practice, in a culture that accepts and honours clock-based timings as being the 'really real', it will be incredibly hard for a non-time-blind mind to really grasp what that can mean.

It is not just life is 'X' and then you have a deficit that gives you some difficulties 'keeping up' and keeping things prioritised.

It is an utterly different perception of reality.

One that is honoured in many cultures as being the highest truth.

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So if you are working with a young person, or adult, or yourself as an individual I hope this post might give some extra insight.

Especially if all the laminated planners, picture diaries, discussions, goals and practice seem to consistently fall into ineffectiveness.

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With ADHD I find the most effective supports are the ones that open up to reality on many levels. not just 'structure':

Coaching and mentoring can help individuals find their own truths to 'play with'.

Companionship and aligned human interaction opens the door to a more naturally 'regulated' experience of time, than a clock or timer.

And of course, the ever present interest-based: Is flow of time more easily processed through music, sports, seasons and celebrations, food, drinks, connections, games?

#ADHD #adhdawareness #timemanagement

https://www.loom.com/share/851c75975a8847059da47ea375fed8e4

 Want to be a bit of a Neurodiversity Champion over the holidays?

You could make a big difference in the lives of neurodivergent SEN children, by supporting your Young People to learn about neurodiversity over the summer break.

School is finally out for my youngest kiddo.

We are super lucky that he has grown up understanding his brain pretty well and advocates for what he needs. He is happy at school.

One of the HUGE challenges for neurodivergent SEN families, is a lack of understanding in the social and school community.

This feeds lack of appropriate provision in lots of ways:

• Mis-understood needs, that have been hard to communicate with no shared language.

•  Even when provision can be put in place our Young Neurodivergent Beans often resist accessing it because of social stigma

•  Families even struggle to want to raise awareness of neurodivergence with their ND kiddos, knowing these truths.

•  That of course impacts self advocacy and getting needs met.

So, if you can embrace some of the social education, we would like to support that through offering this first video:

Neurodiversity, an Introduction.   

The second video about executive functions and neurodivergent strengths is here:

Easy For Some, Easy For Others

And, 50% off all downloadable resources on The Neurodiverse Universe site until the End of August with the coupon code: NEURODIVERSITYCHAMPIONS21

(which means they start at as little as 50p)

Want to be a bit of a Neurodiversity Champion over the holidays?

You could make a big difference in the lives of neurodivergent SEN children, by supporting your Young People to learn about neurodiversity over the summer break.

School is finally out for my youngest kiddo.

We are super lucky that he has grown up understanding his brain pretty well and advocates for what he needs. He is happy at school.

One of the HUGE challenges for neurodivergent SEN families, is a lack of understanding in the social and school community.

This feeds lack of appropriate provision in lots of ways:

• Mis-understood needs, that have been hard to communicate with no shared language.

•  Even when provision can be put in place our Young Neurodivergent Beans often resist accessing it because of social stigma

•  Families even struggle to want to raise awareness of neurodivergence with their ND kiddos, knowing these truths.

•  That of course impacts self advocacy and getting needs met.

So, if you can embrace some of the social education, we would like to support that through offering this first video:

Neurodiversity, an Introduction.   

The first video about neurodiversity is here:

Introduction to neurodiversity

And, 50% off all downloadable resources on The Neurodiverse Universe site until the End of August with the coupon code: NEURODIVERSITYCHAMPIONS21

(which means they start at as little as 50p)

Just a quick tour I made yesterday, of how to access and edit the freebie DopaMenus from back in March & that are still available for download here:

https://www.theneurodiverseuniverse.com/dopamenu-mini-download

🧠There is something we need to talk about.

This experience is lived out a lot in the UK. Parents turning for support, to family members, doctors and educational settings, and having their parenting 'blamed' or told that their child 'simply has attachment issues' 'it's just separation anxiety'.

A child, and the adults in their life, may well have attachment issues... 

Do you know what is a perfect ingredient for attachment issues? Yep, UNRECOGNISED and poorly supported neurodivergence; ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, autism, dyscalculia, dysgraphia, speech apraxia, situational mutism... The list goes on.

Neurological differences can be clear as day, or subtle, on the surface. But, even when they are subtle on the surface, internally the differences are vast and distinct.

When we live a multitude of realities in one space,

 and one reality is considered normal, moral, valuable 

 and others undesirable; a delayed, dysfunctional, disordered version of the predominant one...

then we inescapably create and maintain a wedge that separates us from those differences. 

Even if they are part of us. 

Or part of our child.

Instead of seeing, respecting, and helping children and individuals explore their differences and hold them as valuable, true and valid.

🧠If you are a parent and a professional tells you your struggling child is struggling simply because of attachment issues, I hope this image might help you in your conversations.

🧠If you are a professional, please listen, carefully. To the children, and to neurodivergent adults. Become one of the more 'attuned' adults that our children and families need in their lives.

Alt text: The picture contains a cartoon figure of a sad mother and sad neurodivergent child. The child and mother have the initials ND on their brains and the child is thinking a cloud of 'ND's. They are separated by a grey area. 

Behind the mother stands a grey crowd of stern 'finger wagging' adults with speech bubbles repeatedly containing the letters NT to represent neurotypical opinions. 

The ND child is all turquoise in colour, so is the centre of the mother. There is also a turquoise centre in one of the grey adults in the crowd.

Up coming dates for All On Board Families online courses:

17th May start date for fully funded access. Monday evening Q&A sessions, Thursday daytime course.
Delivered by Shelley of Complex Connexions and available to Families in the North East of England thanks to the generosity of Northumberland Recovery College.

12th June start date for Saturday daytime course. £175.
Includes free lifetime access to recordings and all the resources in Pack One (usually £55) and the upcoming Emotions and Body Budgeting resources.

All downloads and purchasers automatically give lifetime access to our affiliate system so referrals, partnerships, and groups can organise their own discounts, and can continue to earn 33% commission.

Easiest way to ask questions is catch us @ Complex Strengths & The Neurodiverse Universe:) on Facebook, or through JuliaArtsJulia on Linkedin

🧠Autonomy comes up again and again in discussion with neurodivergent adults and about neurodivergent Young People. Not to all, but to most of them personal autonomy is sacrosanct.

I often say that the only deficit description I can fathom applicable to being neurodivergent (ND) would be  'less able to be less human'. 

In his latest blog Alfie Kohn points to Piaget’s distinction between “autonomous” relationships between adults and children, and and “heteronomous” relationships. 

Autonomous being: collaborative, mutually respectful, promoting independence. 

Heteronomous being: where Young People are expected/commanded to respect and defer to the authority adults.

Kohn quotes a book by DeVries and Zan which observes that heteronomous relationships between adults and children 

     “can range on a continuum from hostile and punitive to sugar-coated control.”

And this is where many relationships with ND Young People and adults fail, collapse or explode.

Up until toddler point, in a healthy household babies are in control of their own metering out demands and exercising their autonomy in a supported and protected fashion. From that point in most households adults consider babes on the journey of 'old enough to know better'/ 'has to learn sometime'.

As ND brains develop on a different time scale and in a different fashion to their more neurotypical peers, moral assumptions are made about their differing traits, and ability & inclination to move away from their personal autonomy and towards a new contract of heteronomous relationship with the Bigger Humans in the world.

Outside of perhaps a longer lasting strong drive for autonomy, most of the 'behaviours' we are socialised into from toddler hood onwards are:

1) neuro(typical)normative socially constructed, so not as naturally comfortable and achievable for an ND tot.

& 2) therefore going to add to unmanageable stress/demand placed on a young ND child's nervous system. Which leads to heightened states of fight/flight/freeze responses and lower effectiveness of long term learning and inhibit attachment and social connection.

The often used and suggested reward and consequences style of motivation for raising and educating moral human beings is typically brought more and more into play, further undermining independent moral and self-development and marking ever more deeply, neurological differences. 

Which even when sugar coated, ND children's neurology doesn't trust - as they are already frequently in a heightened/triggered state.

Autonomous, collaborative, respectful communication and relating, is the most beautiful, powerful and creative way of relating as humans. 

It allows and enables us to be fully human, whatever neurotype we are.

Alfie Kohn's blog post can be found here:

https://www.alfiekohn.org/blogs/sugarcoating/

🧠This amazing video captures what processing everyday information feels like to me. Inside my head & body and 'outside' of it. I usually use the term 'sea' of information or life, but this video is a mesmerisingly perfect depiction.

It represents, in reality, a functional amount of information not an endless sea, and it all has form and purpose and relationship to each other.
The murmuration of information is always moving and shifting to achieve its purpose though, while I stand and try to follow, connect, catch and be in functional relationship to it. 

I can make lists and calendars and plans, and each of these things create anchors, markers, waypoints to help map and process the information. Yet each of these things stands still as I do, so they rapidly become less effective for connecting me with the information that ever shifts.

This can be challenging and tiring.

This truth is the flipside of other essential, useful traits:
 Ability to be very present in the 'now', intuitive, creative, non-hierarchical, open to inspiration, flexible, seeing from multiple perspectives, expecting and noticing connections.

#ADHD ❤

🧠A freebie to help you, and me, stay focused!
*edit I made a How to Edit your DopaMenus guide for Peeps new to Canva editing software

Working on the ends of our big project - new upcoming Body Budget and Constructed Emotions recourses, training, trainer notes, workbooks for families and schools...all good but wanted something to 'finish' to help keep me motivated and focused.

We Keep getting conversations crop up about DopaMenus so I made this free mini guide.
It is a complete little resource with editable example adult and teen menus. It can print out and write on, or edit online, and includes a link to How to ADHD's video about making good dopamine choices too!

https://www.theneurodiverseuniverse.com/dopamenu-mini-download