Human change and progress takes safety

🧠💗 Human change and progress takes safety, and is empowered by connection. Our anger cannot change anyone, or even truly change their behaviour.

In our moments of suffering we may feel that spilling out a heightened 'reject/banish/destroy/shame/control' response will change the Other.

It cannot.

Change can only happen if that Other has hope that they can humanly reconnect and heal. Heal the rift, themselves, the community, the damage caused.

Dehumanising, which we are seeing a lot of, removes that possible connection and therefore impacts that hope and any chance.

It is true that IF someone or something can become a big-enough-threat there might be a gain of compliance in those moments of active threat.
*(not everyone complies under threat - many humans are set to non-compliance at their core)

But, if you want change, especially that leads away from warring - us(me) V them will not acheive that.

Human change and progress takes safety, and is empowered by connection.
That is my certainty.

Curiosity leads to Compassion, leads to Connection, leads to Collaboration, leads to Commitment to that which serves the future.

I have spent many years professionally and personally working with behaviour change.

I have spent multiple thousands of hours doing secondary research into human behaviour, relationships, and behaviour change.

And last year I discovered that the High-Five Cs! change support process for tackling challenging situations, that I designed for All On Board for All Our Brains five years ago (which has worked in many households and classrooms,) aligns perfectly with the FBI's research-based 'critical negotiation' framework for crisis situations

- so in as far as we understand humans currently, I feel extra confident that those research conclusions are correct.

Pictured is the High-Five Cs process from All On-Board for All Our Brains
(and hearts, and communities, and countries)